67th Annual Primetime Emmy Predictions

Now that the nominees for the 67^th annual primetime Emmy awards have been released, I’m going to list my predictions for who will win what awards. In case you are wondering, this post is mostly about mocking the awards for what they typically do year after year. They can be a bit predictable.

While I do like to watch the Emmys, there are tons of things that I don’t like about it. For one, there should be a rule that once some show or person wins an award one year, then it shouldn’t be eligible to win the next year. You’ll notice me mocking how obvious the fact that they keep giving the same show the same award year after year. That will mostly be in the show categories, but things will be different when we reach the other categories.

The actual telecast, I’ve noticed, is always average. I’ve never regretted watching it, but I never would have missed anything outstanding if I missed it. Plus, I always get annoyed when the same show shared multiple categories. In this year Emmys, for instance, two Game of Thrones episodes are both nominated for best directing. Why not just pick the best of the two? Also, you’d think that their new rules would prevent the limited series from having an obviously wrong show in it, but it doesn’t. You can nominate American Crime, but even if it won’t have a second season (which it will), it doesn’t belong in that category.

Full discloser: information about the nominees comes directly from Wikipedia. I hope that this isn’t considered plagiarism, but I don’t know of a better way of saying the nominees other than copying a source that already has it. If this is a problem, then I won’t do a post like this again.

The nominees for outstanding comedy series are Louie, Modern Family, Parks and Recreation, Silicon Valley, Transparent, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and Veep. Interesting how television’s currently best comedy, The Big Bang Theory, isn’t even nominated. Now you’d think that the final season of Parks and Recreation would be a good bet for the winner. But you’d be wrong. Modern Family is going to win the award because it always wins.

The nominees for outstanding drama series are Better Call Saul, Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones, Homeland, House of Cards, Mad Men, and Orange in the New Black. An interesting thing to note is how the rule changes have made Orange is the New Black a drama now when it used to be in the comedy category. I haven’t seen that show so I don’t know what it best fits as. Will the final season of Mad Men get the award? It’s possible. The typical winner of this award has gone off the air. But, it’s possible that its spin-off Better Call Saul wins and I say that it will.

The nominees for outstanding variety talk series are The Colbert Report, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, Jimmy Kimmel Live, The Late Show with David Letterman, and the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Typically, the winner is the Colbert Report. But the final season of the Late Show with David Letterman (a show that typically isn’t nominated) could be serious competition. Likewise, I still say that The Colbert Report wins because it always wins.

The nominees for outstanding variety sketch series are Drunk History, Inside Amy Schumer, Key & Peele, Portlandia, and Saturday Night Live. I’m pretty sure that Portlandia typically wins the award, although I’m not sure if there is a usual winner for this or not. I don’t have strong thoughts about these shows having only seen one of them. I say that Portlandia wins.

The nominees for outstanding limited series are American Crime, American Horror Story: Freak Show, The Honorable Woman, Olive Kitteridge, and Wolf Hall. American Crime, which is not a limited series in any way, should probably have been with the drama nominations. Meanwhile, the more problematic nominee, American Horror Story, is going to win because it typically wins all the time.

The nominees for outstanding television movie are Agatha Christie’s Poirot: Curtain, Poirot’s Last Case, Bessie, Grace of Monaco, Hello Ladies: the Movie, Killing Jesus, and Nightingale. With no regular winner for this category, I will have to say that Killing Jesus wins in this case.

The nominees for outstanding reality competition program are The Amazing Race, Dancing with the Stars, Project Runway, So You Think You Can Dance, Top Chef, and The Voice. Every year, the winner in this category is the same. I see no reason why this year would be any different. The Amazing Race will win the award this year.

Well, now that we’ve gotten the obvious winners out of the way, we might as well get to the ones that are a bit harder to predict. Also, I might be wrong about what has won in the past. If I get any predictions wrong, well, that would just make things that happen being the way they usually are.

The nominees for outstanding lead actor in a comedy series are Anthony Anderson on Black-ish, Don Cheadle on House of Lies, Louie C K on Louie, Will Forte on the Last Man on Earth, Matt LeBlanc on Episodes, William H Macy on Shameless, and Jeffrey Tambor on Transparent. How is anybody from Black-ish worthy of winning an Emmy? That show’s terrible and I noticed a lot of overacting on it. Meanwhile, I think that Jeffrey Tambor will win due to tendencies for serious nature shows to do well at award shows.

The nominees for outstanding lead actress in a comedy series are Edie Falco on Nurse Jackie, Lisa Kudrow on The Comeback, Julia Louis-Dreyfus on Veep, Amy Poehler on Parks and Recreation, Amy Schumer on Inside Amy Schumer, and Lily Tomlin on Grace and Frankie. In my mind, I think that the final season of Parks and Recreation will make Amy Poehler this year’s winner in this category.

The nominees for outstanding lead actor in a drama series are Kyle Chandler on Bloodline, Jeff Daniels on The Newsroom, Jon Hamm on Mad Men, Bob Odenkirk on Better Call Saul, Liev Schreiber on Ray Donovan, and Kevin Spacey on House of Cards. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say, despite never winning an award for the show before, that Jon Hamm will win this year. If I’m wrong, which I could easily be, then Kevin Spacey would win instead.

The nominees for outstanding lead actress in a drama series are Claire Danes on Homeland, Viola Davis on How to Get Away with Murder, Taraji P Henson on Empire, Tatiana Maslany on Orphan Black, Elisabeth Moss on Mad Men, and Robin Wright on House of Cards. I’m going to guess that Taraji P Henson is the winner for this award.

The nominees for outstanding lead actor in a limited series or movie are Adrien Brody on Houdini, Ricky Gervais on Derek the Special, Timothy Hutton on American Crime, Richard Jenkins on Olive Kitteridge, David Oyelowo on Nightingale, and Mark Rylance on Wolf Hall. I’m going to guess that Ricky Gervais wins the award.

The nominees for outstanding lead actress in a limited series or movie are Maggie Gyllenhaal on The Honorable Woman, Felicity Huffman on American Crime, Jessica Lange on American Horror Story: Freak Show, Queen Latifah on Bessie, Frances McDormand on Olive Kitteridge, and Emma Thompson on Sweeney Todd: The Demon of Barber Fleet Street- Live from Lincoln Center. I’ll say that Jessica Lange wins the award.

The nominees for outstanding supporting actor in a comedy series are Andre Braugher on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Tituss Burgess on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Ty Burrell on Modern Family, Adam Driver on Girls, Tony Hale on Veep, and Keegan-Michael Key on Key and Peele. Typically, a Modern Family actor wins this award, so I’ll say that Ty Burrell is the winner this time.

The nominees for outstanding supporting actress in a comedy series are Mayim Bialik on The Big Bang Theory, Julie Bowen on Modern Family, Anna Chlumsky on Veep, Gaby Hoffmann on Transparent, Allison Janney on Mom, Jane Krakowski on Unbreakable Kimmy Schimdt, Kate McKinnon on Saturday Night Live, and Niecy Nash on Getting On. This may seem random, but I’ll go with Mayim Bialik as winning the award this time.

The nominees for outstanding supporting actor in a drama series are Jonathan Banks on Better Call Saul, Jim Carter on Downton Abbey, Alan Cumming on the Good Wife, Peter Dinklage on Game of Thrones, Michael Kelly on House of Cards, and Ben Mendelsohn on Bloodline. It’s hard for me to say who will win. I haven’t seen a lot of these shows as I only get free TV legally. I think that Alan Cumming will win.

The nominees for outstanding supporting actress in a drama series are Uzo Aduba on Orange is the New Black, Christine Baranski on The Good Wife, Emilia Clarke on Game of Thrones, Joanne Froggatt on Downton Abbey, Lena Headey on Game of Thrones, and Christina Hendricks on Mad Men. Largely due to its last season, the actress from Mad Men, namely Christina Hendricks, is my pick to win.

The nominees for outstanding supporting actor in a limited series or movie are Richard Cabral on American Crime, Damian Lewis on Wolf Hall, Bill Murray on Olive Kitteridge, Denis O’Hare on American Horror Story: Freak Show, Michael Kenneth Williams on Bessie, and Finn Whitrock on American Horror Story: Freak Show. Another random guess of mine is that Bill Murray will win.

The nominees for outstanding supporting actress in a limited series or movie are Angela Bassett on American Horror Story: Freak Show, Kathy Bates on American Horror Story: Freak Show, Zoe Kazan on Olive Kitteridge, Regina King on American Crime, Mo’Nique on Bessie, and Sarah Paulson on American Horror Story: Freak Show. There are so many nominees from American Horror Story. Will any of them win? I’ll have to guess that Angela Bassett will be the winner.

The nominees for outstanding directing for a comedy series are The Last Man on Earth by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller, Louie by Louis CK, Silicon Valley by Mike Judge, Transparent by Jill Soloway, and Veep by Armando Iannucci. I think that it’s probably going to be Louie CK winning this time.

The nominees for outstanding directing for a drama series are Boardwalk Empire by Tim Van Patten, Game of Thrones by David Nutter, a different episode of Game of Thrones by Jeremy Podeswa, Homeland by Lesli Linka Glatter, and The Knick by Steven Soderbergh. I think that the Homeland episode by Lesli Linka Glatter will win this award.

The nominees for outstanding directing for a variety special are the 87^th Annual Academy Awards by Hamish Hamilton, The Kennedy Center Honors by Louis J Horvitz, Annie Lennox: Nostalgia Live in Concert by Natalie Johns, Saturday Night Live 40^th Anniversary Special by Don Roy King, and the 68^th Tony Awards by Glenn Weiss. I think that Don Roy King will win for the 40^th Anniversary special of Saturday Night Live

The nominees for outstanding directing for a limited series, movie, or dramatic special are American Horror Story: Freak Show by Ryan Murphy, Bessie by Dee Rees, The Honorable Woman by Hugo Blick, Houdini by Uli Edel, The Missing by Tom Shankland, Olive Kitteridge by Lisa Cholodenko, and Wolf Hall by Peter Kosminsky. In my mind, it’s easy to see that Ryan Murphy will win the award since American Horror Story always tends to win awards in this category.

The nominees for outstanding writing for a comedy series are Episodes by David Crane and Jeffrey Klarik, The Last Man on Earth by Will Forte, Louie by Louie CK, Silicon Valley by Alec Berg, Transparent by Jill Soloway, and Veep by Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, and Tony Roche. I think that Jill Soloway will win for Transparent.

The nominees for outstanding writing for a drama series are The Americans by Joshua Brand, Better Call Saul by Gordon Smith, Game of Thrones by David Benioff and D B Weiss, Mad Men by Matthew Weiner and Sami Chellas, and another Mad Men episode written by just Matthew Weiner. I think that Gordon Smith will win this for Better Call Saul.

The nominees for outstanding writing for a variety special are (writers will not be mentioned in this paragraph since not all writers were credited in the source that I found) the 72^nd Golden Globe Awards, Key and Peele’s Super Bowl Special, Louis C K: Live at the Comedy Store, Mel Brooks: Live at the Geffen, Saturday Night Live 40^th Anniversary Special. I think that Saturday Night Live 40^th Anniversary Special will have the writers that win this award.

The nominees for outstanding writing for a limited series, movie, or dramatic special American Crime by John Ridley, Bessie by Dee Rees, Christopher Cleveland, Bettina Gilois, and Horton Foote, Hello Ladies: the Movie by Stephen Merchant, Gene Stupnitsky, and Lee Eisenberg, The Honorable Woman by Hugo Blick, Olive Kitteridge by Jane Anderson, and Wolf Hall by Peter Straughan. This will be another random choice, but I’m going with Jane Anderson for Olive Kitteridge.

Well, those are my thoughts for who will win what in the upcoming Emmys. Tune into them and you will see what I got right and what I didn’t. Trust me, I know that I got some right. Not unless the Emmy voters suddenly decided to fuck with us would all of my picks be wrong. I might come back and do predictions sometime next year. We will see.